If you're going to make this little effort, why did you bother even getting up today? This is the sandwich world equivalent of a "page one rewrite". How is this even a thing?!
"I can't believe the person who made this sandwich lives on the same planet I do." - Me
What the hell is this? I mean, I see #bread, #cheese and #meat. But this sure as shit ain't a sandwich! Explain yourself!
No, it's obviously not a personalized #sandwich from a niche eatery. I'll tell you what it also is not...any semblance of an edible foodstuff that someone spent more that 1 nanosecond making.
This... this is how you make a sandwich:
I basically slapped this together in 5 minutes with random stuff I found in the fridge, torn pieces of cardboard and toothpicks. It's just a pile of chopped up stuff thrown in some bread. Yet somehow, this looks like a monument to the sandwich gods compared to the shoe-bottom debris that is pictured up top and below.
That pathetic attempt at #food was thoughtfully brought to me, with the sweetest and greatest intentions, and I was extremely thankful. When anyone stops to wrap up and save a sandwich for you, that's pretty special. So it hurt me deeply to devour one half of the sandwich and say, "what the heck was that?"At which time I opened the second half to find that whomever made the sandwich, for whatever craft services table it came from, spent exactly zero time making sure the food they were mouth-breathing on was made even half-way decent.
Again, it was wonderful to get a surprise sandwich...it's pretty much the greatest surprise ever (aside from surprise money...or #tacos). But, damn...you knew a human was going to be eating this, right? It almost looks like it was accidentally dropped together and someone said, "fuck it, cut it up and toss it in with the rest of the food."
The bread was actually great sandwich bread. Rigid enough to hold all the #ingredients in place yet soft enough so it doesn't cut the roof of your mouth. But then, someone basically sneezed #mustard seeds on it and sent it off to sandwich school with a crap sack lunch...with no #snackpack!
This may be your idea of a #perfect little sandwich. Just the #essentials, no frill. Well you must live a sad life because the worst sandwich I've ever had wasn't half as bad as this.
For superior sandwich making tips and instruction, read some of my previous posts or check the links below.
"Stop. SAMMICH TIME!" - Me, as MC Hammer, every time I finish making a sammich
Sandwich making tips
www.tasteofhome.com/article/how-to-make-the-best-sandwich/
www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/articles/5-sandwich-making-tips
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