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Writer's pictureErik H. Larson

Let's Talk About Sex. Oops... Bread, Sorry, I Meant Bread. Let's Talk About Bread.

Updated: Jun 20, 2019

Fluffy, soft, crusted. With hundreds of available options the tasty "b" word is full of the dreaded "c" word that everyone in L.A. is closely watching in their diet, so they say. You guessed it, carbohydrates, a.k.a CARBS!!



Craft Bread:


Dave's Killer Bread is just that, killer. With at least five styles of organic bagels (yum!), seven varieties of organic bread, a handful of thinly-sliced (yes, organic) breads and a special edition Pumpkin Spice bagel (*pumpkin spice groan)...there really is a loaf for everyone.

The bread is super soft and retains a good amount of moisture, which leads me to recommend storing it in the fridge or on the counter out of the light and away from heat. I've lost a few honorable slices to the dreaded white mold that loves the crust of the bread as much as I do.


All of Dave's baked dough is hearty and delicious, but I've settled on the 21 Whole Grains And Seeds after having it at a friend's house.


If you like bagels, do yourself a favor and get whichever style you prefer, although you'll likely be ruined for all other bagels after having a soul-expanding bagel experience.


daveskillerbread.com


I have to drop a special mention for Milton's bread as well. The company makes crackers and even cauliflower crust for pizza, but their bread is probably their most visible product.

I go with the original multi-grain when I decide to switch up my bread brands and it's the tastiest of their bread line in my opinion.


Soft but with a good amount of rigidity in the event you have something a bit more sloppy or heavy within the confines of the bread.


Both of these brands are flying out the door at Costco as of late.


miltonscraftbakers.com


Rye Bread:


Yes, I need an entire section on rye bread. It's the best. Deal with it.


There are only a few brands in the grocery store that seem to own the market on this wonder of breads. I bounce around with my rye selection between Russian rye and Jewish rye, maybe even a marbled rye...but the champion of them all is the onion dill rye.


Western Hearth, a division of Van de Kamp's (surprise), stocks these loaves of happiness in my local grocery palace on the regular, and for good reason. I'm not gonna say I eat a loaf of this stuff a week, but I would like to and most certainly am capable of doing so, how dare you even question my resolve and dedication.


The smell, softness... it's ingrained in my soul.


Growing up, a loaf of dark rye 'magically' appearing on the counter on a Saturday morning was like waking up to a new bicycle...that I could toast six pieces of and cover with butter. Even my little brothers began to see the power of the dark side of the rye. To this day, when visiting my brothers, one of them will most assuredly produce a loaf of rye from a bread basket and tempt me with tales of local butter and toasted contentment.


So yeah, I really like rye bread.


Photo borrowed from Prager Brothers Artisan Bread - Carlsbad, CA. Lookin' good boys!

Artisan Bread:


What we're talking about here is legit bakery bread that makes everyone at the dinner table spend half the night looking for the other loaf you swear you saw Mom bring home.

Farmer's bread, baguettes, six-grain, butter zopf, olive loaf (gross), Suisse boule, sesame rolls, cheese loaf and every other glorious tube and round of baked and sliced satisfaction that doesn't even need butter or preserves.


Sometime in 1996 or 97 (story time!) I worked for Dean & Deluca, right when it opened a new location in the Napa Valley. I was in high school and had just received my drivers license and this was kinda my first 'real' job. I had shined the shit out of my shoes the day before my interview because my dad told me shiny shoes take hard work and it says something about a man...ya know, dad talk. I swear, after I had given the manager my personal rundown and told him I could do just about anything he asked me to do, he stood up, as did I, he looked at my shoes then shook my hand and said, "I bet a guy with shoes that shiny can do anything," and hired me on the spot. I was cheap labor too.


So aaaaanyway, I really did do just about everything there. I started just moving boxes and stocking shelves, doing small handyman type work around this massive and brand new specialty food and housewares facility. I would also reorganize the stock in the attic, which was accessed by a hatch in the ceiling of the kitchen. Unfortunately, one time I was sweating my face off up there and someone in the kitchen decided they needed to reduce a 10 gallon pot of vinegar for a while...which filled the attic with vinegar vapor and nearly sent me stumbling down the 15 feet of rickety ladder I used to get up there.


I ran a cash register, I stocked fruits and vegetables, I worked the coffee bar and even changed an old woman's tire in the parking lot out of the goodness of my heart. I was basically the manager haha.


One duty I had when closing the store for the night was to count all the left-over artisan bread from the day, mark it on a spreadsheet, toss it into big, black garbage bags and leave them on the loading dock where someone from some place would pick them up later that evening. I think a local restaurant picked them up to use for a recipe that called for day old bread...I dunno.


Knowing that all the beautiful bread was just going to get tossed in a bag and chopped to bits the next day led me to ask the manager if I could liberate a loaf of the bread every other evening or so and take it home to a house full of carb-lovers. The olde "I didn't see anything" permission was granted and my family soon became addicted to cheese loaves and baguettes. I honestly had never seen my father as happy as when I walked in the door holding a paper bag with a mystery loaf of soft or crunchy goodness.


So yeah, I like me some artisan bread too. Sometimes you gotta just get a baguette and some bone marrow and go to town, medieval style.



More incredible information about bread coming....soon!!!


 

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